Four Missing Pieces
I was born on July 17, 1956 at 10:15 pm as Rhonda Lynn Smith. Soon after that I was relinquished for adoption. I was “placed” with my adoptive family on September 2, 1956 by the Children’s Aid Society. My parents received a Decree of Absolute Adoption dated July 11, 1958 and I officially became Lori Lynn Farebrother.
My parents provided me with a wonderful home and I love them and the rest of my family deeply. My missing pieces in no way reflect on how they loved and raised me, and our family life. For as long as I can remember, I was aware, that I was adopted. Mom and Dad always told me I was special, that they picked me.
As I grew older, on my birthday I would silently wonder about my birth mother and wonder if my birth mother thought of me. I also wondered, who do I look like? I knew it wasn’t my Mom and Dad or the siblings in my adoptive family. Despite the loving and happy life I had with my family, I always felt there were a few pieces of myself missing.
In March of 1986, after looking at portraits of my son and thinking he looks me in this one and his father in that one, I decided to search. The search has had many ups and downs over the years and has been filled with sometimes conflicting non identifying information. Receipt of non identifying information helped me feel a little more completed. I could see I got my love of history and literature from my birth mother and love of science fiction from my birth father. Small things like this meant so much to me.
Eventually I applied for identifying information. I was told because my birth father was deceased; I would never be able to have any more information about him, because he could not give his consent. The Manitoba Post Adoption Registry searched and found my birth mother, but she refused contact. I had prepared myself for that and have accepted it, but again, it prevents me from having any other information. And, I still wonder every year on my birthday if she thinks of me.
Applying for identifying information did allow me to find out that I have four biological siblings out there somewhere, four missing pieces of my life.
On my mother’s side, a brother who was born in 1957 and placed for adoption in Manitoba. On my father’s Side, a sister who was born around 1951, brother who was born around 1952, and another sibling with no record of name, age or gender.
My son is a grown man now and has a child of his own. I look at pictures of my son and granddaughter, I wonder how and if I will ever find my four missing pieces? I have decided to make another big push in searching. I have renewed my contact with Links, a post-legal adoption support group in Manitoba. I plan to contact Child and Family Services, and update my contact information for the Post-Adoption Registry and ask for photocopies of all my files. Ray at Links has told me, if I insist on this, they will give me copies that have had the identifying info blacked out, but it will not have been information censored, filtered and rewritten by a social worker. I will also post this story anywhere I can on the internet along with all the non identifying info I have, hoping against hope that someone will recognize that they could be one of my four missing pieces.
My birth mother was born in 1937, was protestant, in 1956 was 5’5 ¾” tall, 133 lbs, medium bone structure, brown eyes, brown hair with a definite reddish light, pleasant features and rather attractive. Her health was good but she was susceptible to allergies and septic throat and had skin acne aggravated by nerves. The social worked described my birth mother as being extremely pleasant, intelligent and possessing a lot of insight. She had another child, a boy who was put for adoption in Manitoba in 1957. As of 1986 she was married and living in a small town in Manitoba
Maternal Grandmother was born in 1912, is of Scottish racial origin, and in 1956 was described as having brown eyes, brown hair and a fair complexion, 5’2’’ tall, 145 lbs with medium bone structure. She loved music and had a partial grade 11 in school. My birth mother also described her as a troublemaker, fighting with people and at times difficult to get along with.
Maternal Grandfather was born in 1912, of of English/British racial origin, in 1956 was described as having green eyes, black hair and a fair complexion, 5’10” tall and 160 lbs with medium bone structure. He had a grade 8 education and was a laborer and businessman. My birth mother described him as good in business and easy to get along with, being the mediator in the family. He was good natured, even tempered and well thought of by his friends and associates. He was active in community events and enjoyed curling, was in good health but did have back trouble due to a strain.
My birth father was born in 1932 in B.C., was protestant (Lutheran) and was of French/Scottish racial origin. In 1956 he was 6’ tall, 165 lbs, dark brown eyes and hair with olive complexion and described as very good looking. His health was good. He completed grade 9. His mother was divorced and remarried and he used his stepfather’s name. He had a half-brother. He left home when he was young due to a conflict with his family. He was a cook in the army. He was married in 1950 in Ontario and was separated in 1955. He was particular about cleanliness, smoked a pipe and drank occasionally. Described as being easy to get along with and very sociable, congenial, affectionate, thoughtful, generous and respectful to women. He had a temper that he kept well under control. He committed suicide in Oct 1955 or 1956 (I have conflicting information) He had 3 children in his marriage, a girl born around 1951, a boy born around 1952 and a younger sibling of unknown gender and age
Paternal grandfather was a professional. Maternal grandmother was tall, slim and good looking with dark hair, her interest was sewing.
So, if any of the above family information sounds familiar, please email me, maybe you are one of my four missing pieces.
Four Missing Pieces